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Post by gogittum on Aug 13, 2024 10:41:56 GMT -5
helping a close friend realize his mortality. Close friend has had kidney issues for several years. Nam vet who refused VA help. Finally got him in a few years back and got him disability for cardiac, hearing and kidney. He's been seeing a nephrologist outside the VA for several years and now will require dialysis. They gave 6 months to 2 years. Got him back down to VA last week and got him in the medical system to see if they can help on the dialysis deal. We'll see a Doctor in a couple weeks. His son lives in Walla Walla and I contacted him. Said he'd spoke to his Dad a week or so ago but he kinda blew off the diagnosis. I told him if he wanted some quality time with his Father he should come soon. After hearing the facts, he agreed. Soooo, been spending a lot of time helping him clean up some stuff. Transferring assets into ROS's, DOD's, putting some cash accounts into 2 names so to avoid probate. Since he only has one child, it's not too difficult. But I'll catch him gazing off into space sometimes with a quizzical look on his face as if he's thinking, is that all there is? It's difficult to maintain positivity around him when you both know his end of life has been defined and his quality of life revolves around dialysis 3 X a week. But you soldier on, maintaining an upbeat attitude. When I started my 1st appliance repair business in Idaho in 1983, I was very much an on-the-job "trainee" and was learning as I went. Small town, I was well known, local economy was in the toilet and people gave me my chance in the face of the Spotted Owl b.s. I did very well at it. An older fella called me one day and asked if I'd do the maintenance on his dialysis machine. I went and looked at it and figured from what he was saying and what I could see that I could prob'ly do it OK, but it was literally a life and death chance....if I messed up it could kill him, so I declined to touch the thing. He got pretty salty but I stayed clear.
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Post by conchydong on Aug 13, 2024 14:08:48 GMT -5
Bless you Ferris. You are a good man.
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Post by linemannf on Aug 13, 2024 15:48:49 GMT -5
helping a close friend realize his mortality. Close friend has had kidney issues for several years. Nam vet who refused VA help. Finally got him in a few years back and got him disability for cardiac, hearing and kidney. He's been seeing a nephrologist outside the VA for several years and now will require dialysis. They gave 6 months to 2 years. Got him back down to VA last week and got him in the medical system to see if they can help on the dialysis deal. We'll see a Doctor in a couple weeks. His son lives in Walla Walla and I contacted him. Said he'd spoke to his Dad a week or so ago but he kinda blew off the diagnosis. I told him if he wanted some quality time with his Father he should come soon. After hearing the facts, he agreed. Soooo, been spending a lot of time helping him clean up some stuff. Transferring assets into ROS's, DOD's, putting some cash accounts into 2 names so to avoid probate. Since he only has one child, it's not too difficult. But I'll catch him gazing off into space sometimes with a quizzical look on his face as if he's thinking, is that all there is? It's difficult to maintain positivity around him when you both know his end of life has been defined and his quality of life revolves around dialysis 3 X a week. But you soldier on, maintaining an upbeat attitude. Does he know where he is going when he passes? To me that;s an important question even though it can be a hard topic to discuss with someone ,it is easily the most important thing to have a peace about .
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Post by Tarponator on Aug 13, 2024 16:08:15 GMT -5
You are a good man, Ferris.
I hope your friend stays well as long as possible -- he is lucky to have you.
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Post by Mango Man on Aug 13, 2024 16:21:38 GMT -5
I hope he finds peace and you're a good friend Ferris. I am sure he'll need you as time marches on.
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Post by richm on Aug 13, 2024 16:47:00 GMT -5
My aunt was on dialysis for a while. She would take the bus back and forth, made bus friends, dyalisis friends, and of course maintained her other friendships. She did that for a period of some years.
It aint over til the fat lady sings.
Glad you talked some sense into the boy.
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Post by ferris1248 on Aug 13, 2024 17:58:43 GMT -5
helping a close friend realize his mortality. Close friend has had kidney issues for several years. Nam vet who refused VA help. Finally got him in a few years back and got him disability for cardiac, hearing and kidney. He's been seeing a nephrologist outside the VA for several years and now will require dialysis. They gave 6 months to 2 years. Got him back down to VA last week and got him in the medical system to see if they can help on the dialysis deal. We'll see a Doctor in a couple weeks. His son lives in Walla Walla and I contacted him. Said he'd spoke to his Dad a week or so ago but he kinda blew off the diagnosis. I told him if he wanted some quality time with his Father he should come soon. After hearing the facts, he agreed. Soooo, been spending a lot of time helping him clean up some stuff. Transferring assets into ROS's, DOD's, putting some cash accounts into 2 names so to avoid probate. Since he only has one child, it's not too difficult. But I'll catch him gazing off into space sometimes with a quizzical look on his face as if he's thinking, is that all there is? It's difficult to maintain positivity around him when you both know his end of life has been defined and his quality of life revolves around dialysis 3 X a week. But you soldier on, maintaining an upbeat attitude. Does he know where he is going when he passes? To me that;s an important question even though it can be a hard topic to discuss with someone ,it is easily the most important thing to have a peace about . We've discussed that. He leans toward cremation and stick him in a columbarium at the National Cemetery in Canton.
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Post by restlessnative on Aug 13, 2024 18:03:28 GMT -5
You’re a good man, he is lucky to have you as a friend.
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Post by swampdog on Aug 13, 2024 21:59:49 GMT -5
Facing our mortality is something that dodges around us beginning somewhere in our late sixties, and begins to hone in on our frontal lobe as we age and experience our family and friends passing. We eventually spend more time looking backwards than forwards, but it’s the natural order of things.
Be strong for your friend and his son Ferris. You sir are a great friend and someone to be admired.
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