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Post by ferris1248 on Aug 13, 2024 5:47:05 GMT -5
helping a close friend realize his mortality.
Close friend has had kidney issues for several years. Nam vet who refused VA help. Finally got him in a few years back and got him disability for cardiac, hearing and kidney.
He's been seeing a nephrologist outside the VA for several years and now will require dialysis. They gave 6 months to 2 years.
Got him back down to VA last week and got him in the medical system to see if they can help on the dialysis deal. We'll see a Doctor in a couple weeks.
His son lives in Walla Walla and I contacted him. Said he'd spoke to his Dad a week or so ago but he kinda blew off the diagnosis. I told him if he wanted some quality time with his Father he should come soon. After hearing the facts, he agreed.
Soooo, been spending a lot of time helping him clean up some stuff. Transferring assets into ROS's, DOD's, putting some cash accounts into 2 names so to avoid probate. Since he only has one child, it's not too difficult.
But I'll catch him gazing off into space sometimes with a quizzical look on his face as if he's thinking, is that all there is?
It's difficult to maintain positivity around him when you both know his end of life has been defined and his quality of life revolves around dialysis 3 X a week. But you soldier on, maintaining an upbeat attitude.
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Post by Tarpon65 on Aug 13, 2024 5:57:31 GMT -5
Sorry about your friend, Ferris. But sounds like you are a good friend to him and his son and I hope he realizes how lucky he is to have someone like you.
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Post by ferris1248 on Aug 13, 2024 7:10:10 GMT -5
I appreciate your words, thank you, but it's about him, not me.
I'm just doing what I expect of myself.
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Post by mackeralsnatcher on Aug 13, 2024 7:14:25 GMT -5
That sucks. Hope he finds peace.
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Post by One Man Gang on Aug 13, 2024 7:27:26 GMT -5
Peace be with him. Most people can only wish they had a friend like you, who they can trust implicitly.
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Post by illinoisfisherman on Aug 13, 2024 7:37:57 GMT -5
Sorry to hear this. We have so few real friends in our lives it hurts bad when we have one we lose.
I’m praying for the best quality of life for him in his final time and that his time be extended beyond the prognosis
Finally I know you don’t want to hear it Robert but your character and class shines through with your love and attention for your friend.
May God bless you both.
🇺🇸🫡
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Post by cadman on Aug 13, 2024 7:46:27 GMT -5
Sorry to hear about your friend. Your remark "But I'll catch him gazing off into space sometimes with a quizzical look on his face as if he's thinking, is that all there is?" reminded me of something a banker and financial advisor friend once told me.
I was in his office one day chatting and he had a box on the floor by his desk. Somewhere in the conversation, he mentioned the box and how they were what was left of helping settle a man's estate.
He said, "it is shame that a man's life can get reduced to a box on the floor".
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Post by TRTerror on Aug 13, 2024 7:51:18 GMT -5
In 50 years everybody reading this .. Your house will be owned by someone else. Your fancy car you're so proud of will be in a junkyard. Your money you worked so hard for will be in someone else's pocket. Your memories will just be an old picture on someone's wall. In 100 years you will be forgotten and nobody will remember you. Dust in the Wind
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Post by stc1993 on Aug 13, 2024 7:52:37 GMT -5
And a box in the ground or ashes.
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Post by gardawg on Aug 13, 2024 8:42:55 GMT -5
Life is but a dream ...
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Post by ferris1248 on Aug 13, 2024 8:51:19 GMT -5
True dat.......
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Post by billybob on Aug 13, 2024 8:55:56 GMT -5
Good moves of helping him get help. And sorting assets. Sounds like he is still processing this new situation /information.
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Post by madm002 on Aug 13, 2024 9:11:46 GMT -5
You are a good friend Ferris. I had and uncle and now a BIL that were/are in a similar situation and they lived longer than estimated, hope that turns out for your friend.
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Post by ferris1248 on Aug 13, 2024 10:14:23 GMT -5
Good moves of helping him get help. And sorting assets. Sounds like he is still processing this new situation /information. He is. He's known about the kidney deal for several years, maybe longer. Didn't change his lifestyle much. Kind of an "out of sight, out of mind" deal. Reality sets in when the Doctor asks if he has a living will, affairs in order and says "6 months to 2 years." And he's not eligible for a transplant unless he comes up with a donor kidney.
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Post by slough on Aug 13, 2024 10:37:33 GMT -5
Prayers
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